Listening

Recently a few of our team members were out for a quick dinner, looking to do some “Eatin’ Good in the Neighborhood” at Applebee’s.  It was about 8:15 PM on a Monday, which was really of no significance for anyone except for Jeff. Jeff made it clear to us that he would join us for dinner, under the circumstances that he could be back in his hotel room by 9 to watch his favorite show.  At the restaurant, we all made quick decisions from the menu and as our waitress passed, Jeff stopped her to say: “Excuse me, miss.  We’re ready to order and we’re in a bit of a hurry.”  To which the waitress politely replied:  “That’s OK, take your time.”

Was the waitress listening to Jeff so that she could respond or was she listening to understand?  

As salespeople and sales leaders, we are most successful when we discipline ourselves to listen to truly understand the other party.  We often feel this burning desire to have something intelligent to say next, so instead of devoting our attention to understanding the person speaking, our thoughts are focused on our next comment.  Here are a few best practices from top performers that ensure they are listening to understand.

• Take notes.  Taking notes forces you to listen to exactly what the prospect or client is saying.  Also, if you ever lose your train of thought and are not sure what to say next you can usually be successful by referring to your notes and paraphrasing the client’s previous comment.  E.g. …“so retention will be critical in this next year…” then stop talking.  The other party will likely pick up where he or she left off and give you even more of an opportunity to listen to understand.
• Use an agenda and follow a consistent process.  An effective agenda helps drive the flow of the meeting and enables you to spend less energy worrying about the next topic and more effort listening to truly understand.  It’s critical to receive the prospect/client’s input on the agenda so it is a shared plan. This can be done in advance of the meeting, at the start of the meeting or both by using the phrase:  “Here’s what I prepared for an agenda…what else would you like to add to this?...”  Most top salespeople, as they use an agenda on a regular basis, realize that most of their meetings follow a fairly similar process from one to the next.  Following this type of a consistent flow enables you to feel more confident with where the meeting is headed and allows you to focus more on listening to really understand your prospect/client.
• Have some key questions prepared in advance.  Some salespeople believe that if they have notes with them, they will appear unprepared or inexperienced.  Feedback from prospects and clients tells us this is exactly opposite to the way they think. The other party appreciates that you have taken the time to “prepare” key questions and acknowledges the fact that you are “experienced” enough to know what questions to ask.  So how does having questions ready in advance help you listen? First, you do not have to be thinking of your next question (because it’s on your pad), and you can focus your thoughts on understanding the other person. Second, having this list of questions drives the right instinct and behavior of asking questions and listening vs. talking, so you’ll have more opportunity to listen.

If you are a Sales Coach, all of the above practices and philosophy apply to the 1 on 1 goal-setting meetings that you conduct with your team members.  Listening to understand vs. respond is also relevant for all of our interactions with friends and family!

Listen to understand vs. to respond and you will be even more effective as a salesperson, co-worker, and friend.